What Being Fat means to me

I have always been the chubby one, combine that with the fact that I am short and well it goes without saying I am FAT. It doesn’t come up a lot in my daily life, I know a lot of people are scratching their heads about that one.

By BMI standards I am super morbidly obese. Which sounds very scary, and sometimes it really is.

When I look in the mirror though I don’t see some big fat slob looking back at me, because that is not who I am.

I am this person that has struggled with weight all my life, I can remember being 10 years old and eating cottage cheese and yogurt for like a week straight to lose weight. 10 years old!

I am on 4 anti depressants and mood stabilizers so that I can leave the house, not burst into tears constantly, and not have a panic attack every 5 minutes. What this means to my weight is that, I can eat salad for a month straight with no dressing and the weight is still going to hang on with a vengeance.

Who wants to eat salad with no dressing for the rest of their life? Uh not me! haha

I am addicted to Chocolate, that is factual, I love Chocolate! I have no problem telling anyone, and I have an emergency stash of chocolate in my office.

What I wanted to get out by writing this post is things that others like to  assume about Fat people:

#1 People who are fat are slobs, lazy, and good for nothing.

I am not a slob thank you very much! I am not lazy either, when I get a chance to get out of my house I am all for it! I love to get out and moving ( I do have a bad back and one knee though). I do my best always though!

#2 People like being fat.

WHAT? seriously! I do not like paying 3 times more for a pair of pants. I don’t like having 1 store that I can shop at, and when you weigh a lot naturally you are 10 feet tall so no pants fit me anyway!

#3 If they tried they could lose the weight.

Oh my dear, I have tried it. Every diet known to man, I see my Dr regularly and he *gasp* knows that I am really fat and we are working on a strategy where I can stay mentally healthy and get physically in shape.

#4 All Fat people have high cholesterol and high blood pressure and are knocking on deaths door.

I don’t have high cholesterol (get it checked often), I don’t have diabetes (get that checked often too!), I had high blood pressure related to my anxiety disorder, cut out salt and do not have high blood pressure anymore. Heart is healthy.

I will tell you my truths though:

I don’t ever remember being picked on for my weight, not once. If people were doing it, they were doing it sly enough that I couldn’t hear. I always had tons of friends, and my weight was never an issue (not that I know of anyway, you would have to ask them!)

I have a husband that loves me no matter what, big, small, pimply faced or not. He tells me I am beautiful every day, and you know what? I believe him.

I do have bad days where I wish I would just wake up and have the magic cure to be at a healthier weight (notice I didn’t say skinny, I don’t NEED to be skinny)

My daughter doesn’t gawk at people who are different from her, because she knows that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and abilities and they all deserve to be loved. The world would be a lot better place if all parents could teach this to their children.

Do I believe women that are not Fat struggle too? Absolutely! There is always a high beauty standard we are trying to obtain as women. Society has made it so that we will never be skinny enough, tan enough, light enough, tall enough.

I LOVE healthy food. Seriously, I love food. Good quality, well prepared food is a passion of mine.

I do eat when I am sad, grouchy, and having a bad day. I know its a bad habit, its something I would love to change about myself and I (LIKE EVERYONE IN THE WORLD) am a work in progress.

I don’t need you to tell me I have a pretty face, I know I do 🙂 I don’t need you to tell me that I need to lose weight, I know that too.

When its hot outside I don’t cover my fat with long sleeves and long pants, because ITS HOT! If I go to the beach I wear my bathing suit, hey its the beach!

People assume a lot about fat people. People assume a lot about others actually all the time.

I challenge you that is reading this though, to step out of those assumptions. Don’t look at people and scrutinize them, you don’t know their life, you don’t know their struggles, you don’t know anything about a stranger you have never talked to so don’t assume they are something when they likely are not.

If you want to talk to me about being fat, I am fine with that. I don’t need to be beautiful to everyone, I am beautiful to the people that count though 🙂

ALSO! for the love of all things holy fat brothers and sisters, TAKE PICTURES OF YOURSELF! Leaving yourself out of pictures because you aren’t your ideal weight means that when other people look back on fun times and use pictures to spark their memories you won’t come to mind. Don’t write yourself out of your own life story, its ok to be fat and get your picture taken, you don’t burn up the camera I promise!

Love yourself, you are important!


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